Don't you just love the word "hodgepodge"? It makes me feel like it's 1953 and I should in in someones "rumpus" room playing TWISTER! I used to love twister when I was a kid. As you can see, I am all over the place but I had a crazy day and it's Friday and I am shot ta hell so the plan here is:
1.)Unwind a bit by blowing off steam on blog that no one will read
2.)Take a nappy-poo
3.)Talk on the phone with crazy Aunt who tells stories about her wacky neighbors and co-workers and everything she ate today in lurid detail
4.)Do laundry
5.)Stay up goofing off till about 3 am, pass out. The end.
So this is what happened today. I have this patient who I had back in April, she's in terrible shape. Her son is a great son, he takes wonderful care of her, does her tube feedings, changes her, washes her, sits up at her bedside all night so she doesn't choke (she once did, now he's paranoid). So devoted son, established.
Back in April, I thought he may have liked me. When I say "liked" me I do not mean like Fonzie liked Joanie, I mean like Chachi liked Joanie, get my drift? I ignored it because the guy has a wife and she was pregnant at the time. I thought hmmm, I am almost sure of this but it just can't be so I'm gonna ignore this and choose to think I finally developed an ego after not having one for my entire life. I am the kind of person who needs a romantic interest to shove his tongue down my throat (I know sowy for the gross visual) for me to really believe a person is into me. I can't ever remember being confident in thinking anyone ever liked me before, ever ever ever. Unless a person says to me "I am interested you in a secksy way" I do not pick up on these things because the horror of me assuming it and it not being true would be just too much humiliation for me to bear. My ex used to tell me that I was really naive in this way and that men have things going through their minds that women would not believe. They look at a woman and imagine her naked and think about things they would do to and with her. He even added "we met at a funeral and I was so attracted to you that I thought about having sex with you while the funeral was going on, that's how bad men are." I asked Miguel my translator if this was true and his response was "hell yes". I still don't know if I really believe this but wow. Note to self: continue being grateful for being born without a penis.
So today I was in that house again and I got that feeling again. And this time I met this guys wife and new baby. I thought, wow, WTF with me and my ego? I must be imagining things, his wife and baby are RIGHT HERE! So I let it go. Saw his Mom, finished business and went to leave. I got to the door (down a very long curved hallway) and he ran over to ask me when I would be back next week. We were discussing the schedule and all of a sudden he grabs me and kisses me! ON THE LIPS! @@!!! To say I was surprised is an understatement. I instinctively repressed my urge to scream because the family was in the next room. I was totally dumbfounded. If ever there was a situation that needed the word dumbfounded to describe a mood or reaction this was it! I swung around and pulled away, I sort of did a ninja/matrix move on him, it was kind of funny actually. Even after this he invited me out to dinner! I told him I was married (right, I also dress up my 36 cats and have tea parties with them) and so was he and that wouldn't be happening. I couldn't go on because frankly I was afraid he would do something else and I did not want his wife to be upset or any drama.
I still cannot belieeeeeve this dude pulled this! I am in total shock. First, I'm in shock that he would see me like that and secondly I'm in shock that he would actually ACT on those feelings. Oh and I'm also grossed out. Really really grossed out. I ran out to the car with Miguel waiting for me and rinsed my mouth out about 6 times. And I can't believe I have to go back there again. Oh I'll be super professional and just do my job but I'm really gonna feel like I'm at the playboy mansion when I walk in there, with 'Hef" standing behind me while I'm dealing with his Mom.
So after this assault on my senses I felt like I needed to do something to balance it and get it the hell out of my head. I was walking to the subway and I saw a lady with her walker outside a building with a lot of steps and she was just resting. She was really old. I asked her how she was going to get inside. She said slowly. Then she told me that things have been so hard since her stroke and her arthritis was not helping her either. So I told her I was going to get her inside, carried her walker up the front steps and 3 flights (GOD DAMN) and can you believe she tried to tip me? Haha!
Then I came home and stuck an envelope with some $$ in my neighbors mailbox. They are the nicest people, hubby is a cab driver, wife stays home with the little kids. I was behind her in line at the grocery store a while back and she didn't have enough food stamps to buy all the food she had on the belt and she had to put quite a bit back. Since then I like to slip money to her. I tried to do it face to face but we do not speak the same language and she seemed really ashamed so I do it anonymously now. I highly recommend doing this if you feel like you want to donate money to something but you aren't sure it would go to the right place. After doing something with good intentions I felt like I had taken a karmic shower of sorts. Wiped the icky slate clean and restored balance, you know?
So that's all I got for ya, off to nap! Hope your week was a good one and your weekend will be even better :)
1.)Unwind a bit by blowing off steam on blog that no one will read
2.)Take a nappy-poo
3.)Talk on the phone with crazy Aunt who tells stories about her wacky neighbors and co-workers and everything she ate today in lurid detail
4.)Do laundry
5.)Stay up goofing off till about 3 am, pass out. The end.
So this is what happened today. I have this patient who I had back in April, she's in terrible shape. Her son is a great son, he takes wonderful care of her, does her tube feedings, changes her, washes her, sits up at her bedside all night so she doesn't choke (she once did, now he's paranoid). So devoted son, established.
Back in April, I thought he may have liked me. When I say "liked" me I do not mean like Fonzie liked Joanie, I mean like Chachi liked Joanie, get my drift? I ignored it because the guy has a wife and she was pregnant at the time. I thought hmmm, I am almost sure of this but it just can't be so I'm gonna ignore this and choose to think I finally developed an ego after not having one for my entire life. I am the kind of person who needs a romantic interest to shove his tongue down my throat (I know sowy for the gross visual) for me to really believe a person is into me. I can't ever remember being confident in thinking anyone ever liked me before, ever ever ever. Unless a person says to me "I am interested you in a secksy way" I do not pick up on these things because the horror of me assuming it and it not being true would be just too much humiliation for me to bear. My ex used to tell me that I was really naive in this way and that men have things going through their minds that women would not believe. They look at a woman and imagine her naked and think about things they would do to and with her. He even added "we met at a funeral and I was so attracted to you that I thought about having sex with you while the funeral was going on, that's how bad men are." I asked Miguel my translator if this was true and his response was "hell yes". I still don't know if I really believe this but wow. Note to self: continue being grateful for being born without a penis.
So today I was in that house again and I got that feeling again. And this time I met this guys wife and new baby. I thought, wow, WTF with me and my ego? I must be imagining things, his wife and baby are RIGHT HERE! So I let it go. Saw his Mom, finished business and went to leave. I got to the door (down a very long curved hallway) and he ran over to ask me when I would be back next week. We were discussing the schedule and all of a sudden he grabs me and kisses me! ON THE LIPS! @@!!! To say I was surprised is an understatement. I instinctively repressed my urge to scream because the family was in the next room. I was totally dumbfounded. If ever there was a situation that needed the word dumbfounded to describe a mood or reaction this was it! I swung around and pulled away, I sort of did a ninja/matrix move on him, it was kind of funny actually. Even after this he invited me out to dinner! I told him I was married (right, I also dress up my 36 cats and have tea parties with them) and so was he and that wouldn't be happening. I couldn't go on because frankly I was afraid he would do something else and I did not want his wife to be upset or any drama.
I still cannot belieeeeeve this dude pulled this! I am in total shock. First, I'm in shock that he would see me like that and secondly I'm in shock that he would actually ACT on those feelings. Oh and I'm also grossed out. Really really grossed out. I ran out to the car with Miguel waiting for me and rinsed my mouth out about 6 times. And I can't believe I have to go back there again. Oh I'll be super professional and just do my job but I'm really gonna feel like I'm at the playboy mansion when I walk in there, with 'Hef" standing behind me while I'm dealing with his Mom.
So after this assault on my senses I felt like I needed to do something to balance it and get it the hell out of my head. I was walking to the subway and I saw a lady with her walker outside a building with a lot of steps and she was just resting. She was really old. I asked her how she was going to get inside. She said slowly. Then she told me that things have been so hard since her stroke and her arthritis was not helping her either. So I told her I was going to get her inside, carried her walker up the front steps and 3 flights (GOD DAMN) and can you believe she tried to tip me? Haha!
Then I came home and stuck an envelope with some $$ in my neighbors mailbox. They are the nicest people, hubby is a cab driver, wife stays home with the little kids. I was behind her in line at the grocery store a while back and she didn't have enough food stamps to buy all the food she had on the belt and she had to put quite a bit back. Since then I like to slip money to her. I tried to do it face to face but we do not speak the same language and she seemed really ashamed so I do it anonymously now. I highly recommend doing this if you feel like you want to donate money to something but you aren't sure it would go to the right place. After doing something with good intentions I felt like I had taken a karmic shower of sorts. Wiped the icky slate clean and restored balance, you know?
So that's all I got for ya, off to nap! Hope your week was a good one and your weekend will be even better :)
2 comments:
It feels better when you give and no one is looking. Because you're not doing it just for appearances. Good going!
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I agree with you and knowing that it is going to someone who really needs it makes it so much more meaningful to me. I almost feel selfish doing it the reward is so great!
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