So here we are again, I've just completed my perusing of the dirties (aka the Globe, Star and National Enquirer magazines) and it's been a slow week in LaLa land. I'm not going to go into the Sarah Palin articles because I don't find the tales about her hypocrisy and family woes particularly entertaining, and trashy entertainment is what I read the dirties for. Give me a good celeb on an embarrassing drunken binge story any day over that.
This week I have hand picked the following for you:
1.)Paris Hilton is no longer hot(evidence follows).
2.)Star Jones found a new victim (aka boyfriend).
3.)Fifty Cent has malodorous feet.
4.)Kiefer Sutherland appears to be a normal person.
5.)Joe Pesci and Angie Everhart rekindle their strange romance.
Bonus feature in the Enquirer: Ten things you MUST own for under $10.
OK, first we have Paris Hilton FINALLY losing her celeb status. Evidence to this was revealed in her demanding to get into the ladies room at a Hollywood club in front of a long line of women who called her a bitch and told her to get into line like the rest of them. She cried and huffed and left the club. She was also spotted at the Shu Uemura makeup counter actually PAYING for her purchases. No more freebies like in the past. Can I just say what took so long? The popularity of this waste of humanity has dumbfounded me for years.
Next we have Star Jones finding romance. First of all, I want to say that I have met this monster and she is every bit the nasty diva she is portrayed to be. I used to work in a restaurant she frequented and myself and other co-workers would fight over who had to deal with her. She was always rude, dismissive and just generally a horribly miserable human being. I love that the title of this article in the enquirer reads "Stars lovin' what comes from his oven, chef finds way to her heart-through her stapled stomach." Apparently she is dating a chef. He looks pretty attractive too. There was also a photo of them kissing that ruined my dinner. 'Nuff said on this one.
Rapper Fifty Cent (better known as "fitty cent")has smelly feet. Can I just also add that nothing made me laugh harder than hearing Charlie Gibson doing a news story on this rapper utter the word "fitty", it was such an "I am a very Caucasian man" moment. Anyway, back to his funky feet. Apparently he took his filthy sneakers off during a flight from NY to Boston and proceeded to prop his nasty feet up on the headrest of the woman in the seat in front of him. The smell was so foul that several people on the plane complained and he was asked to put his shoes back on. Lovely.
Kiefer Sutherland appears to be a troubled but down to earth individual. He went to jail this year for a DUI and came out realizing that he took his star life for granted and that he could lose it all in a second. He also stated that once you have fallen it is important to pick yourself and rebuild your life. Wait a minute, he sounds like an average person here. I was never a fan of this guy but for some reason I am pulling for him. I have seen numerous pictures of him in the past on drunken rampages acting completely out of control and for some reason his behavior does not annoy me. I feel for him and this easily annoyed woman is officially going on record as saying "Kiefer, stick with AA and keep your chin up, you can do this".
And wrapping up the week, a true Hollywood love story. Angie Everhart owes her reignited relationship with former fiance Joe Pesci to her DUI. Yes kids, this odd couple was engaged and broke it off. Angie was out driving drunk, got arrested and called Joe to bail her out of jail. $15,000 later, they were in love again. Gee, maybe there is still hope for my former fiance and I.
This weeks bonus: 10 things you must own for under $10
1.)Mr Clean Magic Eraser at $3. it's a foaming multi purpose cleaning sponge. Said to lift everything from soap scum to floor scuff marks to cleaning car wheels. Hmmmm.
2.) OXO good grips jar opener at $7.99. I love anything OXO.
3.)RESQME at $9.95. A device that you can attach to your car keys that will cut your seat belt or break a car window for escape if you are under water or engulfed in flames. Wow, if I had a car I would definitely buy one of these things.
4.)Tide To Go stick stain remover At $3.99. Name says it all.
5.)Ped Egg at $9.99. Home pedicure device. I prefer the microplane one from QVC to this but it's good none the less.
6.)Openx at $5.99. A device used to open hard to open packages. OK, I use a knife but whatever.
7.)Smoke detector at $7.99. Of course you need this and you know it.
8.)4 in 1 radio, alarm, flashlight, phone charger at $9.99. It doesn't even need batteries, you crank it and it powers internally charged cells. It even has a siren, sign me up! Found at Walgreen's.
9.)Knife and scissors sharpener at $9.95. Meh, so what.
10.)Fizz keeper at $3.99. Keeps fizzy drinks fizzy. I will keep this one in mind since I plan to significantly increase my champagne consumtion this year.
So there you have it, that's all for now! :)
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