Saturday, August 23, 2008

Dr. Oz


In my last post, I mentioned my annoyance with Dr Oz. For anyone who doesn't know who this man is, he is "America's Dr" and has been named as such by the almighty Oprah.Dr Oz makes regular appearances on Oprahs' show to tell us what size, color and shape our poop should be. Yes dear reader, he actually says the word"poop"ad nauseum. Now I'm not a squeamish gal, but I really never considered Oprah as my go to person for extensive discussions on poop and it's properties. Where was she that horrifying morning after when I experienced the work of BLACK squid ink pasta on my digestive system in the 80's? I really could have used her poop expertise then to calm my fears and to assure me that what I saw in the bowl that day was perfectly normal and that no, I was not hours away from organ failure and certain death. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to her for the input now, but it's just unexpected when I'm looking for something to pass the time for an hour. I rarely watch her because I am a working person, but every once in a while I am home early or off from work and find myself face to face with the 4 pm TV slot that she inhabits.

The funny part about Dr Oz is, I have actually had contact with some of his patients. My line of work and his line of work occasionally connect in a very 13th cousin removed kind of way. I knew about Dr Oz long before his Oprah appearances. Let me say that I think Oprah is doing a good thing having him on because America can use all the help it can get with health related information but for some reason Dr Oz just plain bugs me. He always seems like he can hardly believe he landed this gig on Oprah. I have a sneaking suspicion that Dr Oz is madly in love with Oprah and she is his forbidden fantasy. When Oprah hugs Dr Oz the look on his face and his body language seem to say "ahhhhh, I have finally arrived".

The thing that bugs me the most about him is that despite the fact that he is on television and obviously did not just arrive on the Oprah set straight from surgery.......HE ALWAYS WEARS SURGICAL SCRUBS. Dr Oz, if by some bizarre circumstance you are reading this I want to tell you it's OK, I believe you are a real Dr. As a matter of fact, I know it via my "contact" with you. Why must you wear your scrubs on Oprah? You are the Oprah equivalent of the lady at the Clinique cosmetics counter who wears a lab coat to help me pick out my lipstick. Can't we be real here? You are no doubt loaded, I want to see you in a dashing Armani suit. I will still believe you when you tell me that my urine should be clear enough to read a newspaper through even if you are looking well groomed and out of your scrubs. Really. I swear.

That's all for now :)

No comments: