I've been oddly silent this week, going back to work after being off for a week really is a horrible shock to a persons system as anyone who works for a living well knows. My feelings this week sort of fell into Kubler Ross's 5 stages of grief /death and dying:
1.) Denial: What? What do you mean my vacation is over? It can't be! NO! It's not Sunday night already! Where the hell did the week go, THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING!
2.)Anger: Wait a minute, this is not fair, I work my ass off and I get a lousy week off and now I have to go back to the unbearable grind once again? This is the thanks I get? Unbelievable!
3.) Bargaining: OK, I understand that I need to work to pay my bills but can't I take Monday off and make this a 4 day to start out with? I'll come back, I will but just don't make me live through Monday. Please, NOT MONDAY!
4.)Depression: Damn, what's the point, I didn't win the lottery, bills are piling up, no Sugar Daddy had appeared to rescue me from my life of drudgery, whoa is me.
5.) Acceptance: I guess I was meant to be a worker bee till I eventually drop dead from the sheer drain of it all. Might as well put on my big girl panties and get out there and do it again. Fuck my life, thankyouverymuch.
That pretty much sums up the Sunday Night blues. There's probably not a person reading this who has not experienced them, and I really do enjoy my job for the most part. All this has gotten me to thinking, I really need to find some sort of career or existence that would allow me to just do whatever the hell I feel like doing and get paid for doing it. Something that would give me more flexibility and freedom. So Lets see, what could I seriously do on a daily basis and be completely happy with doing for the rest of my days? Hmmmm. I am actively going to try and make a list here...
1.) Newspaper advice columnist. I can totally see it now. "Dear Fuss, my husband enjoys wearing my undergarments and I find this a little upsetting. He also likes to french kiss our poodle while we are in the middle of our intimacy, what should I do?" Yes, I would relish answering quandaries like this. I am made for this, please someone out there, let me have my own soapbox, I promise never to be dull or judgemental about it just give me the chance!
2.)Writer. Yep, I could see doing this for a living, I enjoy it, it would give me a chance to grow. Yes, this would be good.
3.)Professional baking teacher. I am a former pastry chef, this is in my blood.
4.) Any kind of assistant needed for the lovely Mr. Hugh Jackman. I mean anything. I would wash his underwear, scrub his toilet, just anything. do you hear me Hugh? I LOVE YOU.
5.)Taster/flavor consultant for a high end chocolatier. Munching on exquisite chocolates allllllll day long.
6.)Weight loss motivational speaker. I know, pretty sick considering the job above this one right? What can I say? I'm an enigma. I've lost weight successfully over the years and I have pretty much kept the bulk of it off successfully. I can motivate just about anyone to do it and I love getting people on the path to health. I'm not an asshole about it, I realize that people are human and struggle and the fact that I have been there and continue to be gives me an edge over someone who looks like a model.
7.) Beauty Advisor. I know enough about makeup and skincare to be able to tell just about anyone what will suit them and what will flatter them most. Add fragrance to this as well and put me in a cute little boutique sitting on a pretty velvet throne where I can be sort of like the department store Santa letting people sit on my lap while I formulate a plan for them.
8.)Professional best friend/Oprah confidant. There is no one more loyal and there for you than me. Just no one. I could seriously knock Gail off her high horse as best friend of the century, hear me now Oprah. I will be there for you, support you, you can tell me your dirtiest secrets and I wont bat an eyelash. I'll stay up on the phone with you all night if you're having a particularly bad crisis. You'll have a hard time finding someone as gentle, kind and understanding as me but in this case, you're gonna have to pay me for it.
9.)Professional bullshit detector. YES. I have gotten so good at this, especially over the past year. I seem to have developed an eerie skill for immediately being able to detect when I'm being manipulated, lied to, played with, etc. Oh sure, it sounds easy enough but trust me on this, there are some slick ones out there who might have slid by me in the past but now I am acutely aware of controlling or negative, self serving behaviors like never before.
10.) Gaydar detector. When your gay friends ask you if you think so and so is gay, well, what can I say? I am known for this skill and it is correct 99.9% of the time. (And that 1% margin of error is Ryan Seacrest, come on who does he think he's kidding? I KNOW I'm right on that one too).
Hmmm, nothing else seems to pop into my head at this time. Oh I do have a really neat ability to guess peoples weight by looking a them. I usually come within 5 to 10 lbs every time. I'm sure there are quite a few other options out there but for now, this gives me a few things to toss around as possibilities. What about you? Are there some things you could see yourself doing if you weren't doing your current gig?
That's all for now :)
1.) Denial: What? What do you mean my vacation is over? It can't be! NO! It's not Sunday night already! Where the hell did the week go, THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING!
2.)Anger: Wait a minute, this is not fair, I work my ass off and I get a lousy week off and now I have to go back to the unbearable grind once again? This is the thanks I get? Unbelievable!
3.) Bargaining: OK, I understand that I need to work to pay my bills but can't I take Monday off and make this a 4 day to start out with? I'll come back, I will but just don't make me live through Monday. Please, NOT MONDAY!
4.)Depression: Damn, what's the point, I didn't win the lottery, bills are piling up, no Sugar Daddy had appeared to rescue me from my life of drudgery, whoa is me.
5.) Acceptance: I guess I was meant to be a worker bee till I eventually drop dead from the sheer drain of it all. Might as well put on my big girl panties and get out there and do it again. Fuck my life, thankyouverymuch.
That pretty much sums up the Sunday Night blues. There's probably not a person reading this who has not experienced them, and I really do enjoy my job for the most part. All this has gotten me to thinking, I really need to find some sort of career or existence that would allow me to just do whatever the hell I feel like doing and get paid for doing it. Something that would give me more flexibility and freedom. So Lets see, what could I seriously do on a daily basis and be completely happy with doing for the rest of my days? Hmmmm. I am actively going to try and make a list here...
1.) Newspaper advice columnist. I can totally see it now. "Dear Fuss, my husband enjoys wearing my undergarments and I find this a little upsetting. He also likes to french kiss our poodle while we are in the middle of our intimacy, what should I do?" Yes, I would relish answering quandaries like this. I am made for this, please someone out there, let me have my own soapbox, I promise never to be dull or judgemental about it just give me the chance!
2.)Writer. Yep, I could see doing this for a living, I enjoy it, it would give me a chance to grow. Yes, this would be good.
3.)Professional baking teacher. I am a former pastry chef, this is in my blood.
4.) Any kind of assistant needed for the lovely Mr. Hugh Jackman. I mean anything. I would wash his underwear, scrub his toilet, just anything. do you hear me Hugh? I LOVE YOU.
5.)Taster/flavor consultant for a high end chocolatier. Munching on exquisite chocolates allllllll day long.
6.)Weight loss motivational speaker. I know, pretty sick considering the job above this one right? What can I say? I'm an enigma. I've lost weight successfully over the years and I have pretty much kept the bulk of it off successfully. I can motivate just about anyone to do it and I love getting people on the path to health. I'm not an asshole about it, I realize that people are human and struggle and the fact that I have been there and continue to be gives me an edge over someone who looks like a model.
7.) Beauty Advisor. I know enough about makeup and skincare to be able to tell just about anyone what will suit them and what will flatter them most. Add fragrance to this as well and put me in a cute little boutique sitting on a pretty velvet throne where I can be sort of like the department store Santa letting people sit on my lap while I formulate a plan for them.
8.)Professional best friend/Oprah confidant. There is no one more loyal and there for you than me. Just no one. I could seriously knock Gail off her high horse as best friend of the century, hear me now Oprah. I will be there for you, support you, you can tell me your dirtiest secrets and I wont bat an eyelash. I'll stay up on the phone with you all night if you're having a particularly bad crisis. You'll have a hard time finding someone as gentle, kind and understanding as me but in this case, you're gonna have to pay me for it.
9.)Professional bullshit detector. YES. I have gotten so good at this, especially over the past year. I seem to have developed an eerie skill for immediately being able to detect when I'm being manipulated, lied to, played with, etc. Oh sure, it sounds easy enough but trust me on this, there are some slick ones out there who might have slid by me in the past but now I am acutely aware of controlling or negative, self serving behaviors like never before.
10.) Gaydar detector. When your gay friends ask you if you think so and so is gay, well, what can I say? I am known for this skill and it is correct 99.9% of the time. (And that 1% margin of error is Ryan Seacrest, come on who does he think he's kidding? I KNOW I'm right on that one too).
Hmmm, nothing else seems to pop into my head at this time. Oh I do have a really neat ability to guess peoples weight by looking a them. I usually come within 5 to 10 lbs every time. I'm sure there are quite a few other options out there but for now, this gives me a few things to toss around as possibilities. What about you? Are there some things you could see yourself doing if you weren't doing your current gig?
That's all for now :)
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