Public eaters. You know them, they are the people who are teetering around with their muffin/coffee/piece of pizza/fried chicken leg/ice cream cone...all the while oblivious to everyone around them. At least that's how it is here in NYC. Public eating, especially a meal is one of my biggest peeves. (My other big peeve is people who clip their nails in public, yes there are a lot of them but that is for another time to discuss). I used to work with a woman who once pointed out that in Washington Heights (uptown Manhattan) everyone seems to be walking around eating a single serving snack sized bag of chips or cookies and drinking a blue beverage. Now that I work in that neighborhood I see she definitely was not kidding.
Public eating is really at it's most disgusting on the subway.There is nothing worse and more stomach churning than sitting next to a guy who is dumping hot sauce on his fried chicken and inhaling his fries while you are just trying to get where you need to go unscathed. It's even worse if this person is standing near you or over you as you sit and you then have the added pressure of worrying about this person's meal landing on your lap. Once a guy was sitting across from me eating a McMuffin during morning rush hour. He was munching away, he looked completely normal in his suit with his briefcase. What I am about to tell you next will make your hair stand on end. He dropped his McMuffin and it went open faced on the FLOOR of the subway car. He then picked it up, each piece and put it back together and ate it! A woman actually screamed "NO!" A few people turned their heads and there were several OMG's murmured. It was truly disgusting. True story.
Yesterday a woman sat next to me and whipped out a bag that actually smelled pretty good. She then proceeded to eat french toast sticks from Burger King. As she ate them she dipped them into a container of white frosting. It was pure junk and I knew it but that smell was killing me. I do not eat fast food. I refuse to. I have not had it since I was about 15 and I was on an away trip for school and I had to eat it. I'm not an elitist snob, I love fries and burgers on occasion but I really hate fast food. I tastes artificial, rubbery and just horrible. I want to cry when I've had it, it makes me feel like I've just given up and am telling my body and soul to fuck off. So where was I? Oh yeah, the french toast hussy. Wow, that smelled good. Those delicious little bastard toast sticks were tempting me to eat crap but I was able to resist. It smelled so good that I actually made my healthy version of french toast this morning for breakfast.
This past fall/winter I was forced to become a public eater. Yes, it's true. I'm not proud of it but I had no choice. I was very ill and I had weekly Dr appts for my treatments every Friday at 9 am. Afterward I had to immediately get on the subway and go to work. The treatments made me really sick. There were times when I was in the chemo room with the other patients and I would lose it in front of them and they would give me crackers to stop the nausea. The plebotomist used to go out and buy me a roll to eat because he knew what was coming. I decided that I needed to eat something after the treatment so I made a habit of stopping at a good deli right at the foot of the steps to the subway. I would always get the same thing. An egg and cheese on a roll and a water. I had no choice but to eat it while in transit. I will tell you that eating in public was really uncomfortable for me. It was akin to people watching me go to the bathroom. I have no idea how people do it by choice and how they can have a full out meal like that involving a fork, knife, condiments etc. I always felt slightly ashamed doing it and classless, but it was either that or be really ill so away I went with it. I would occasionally notice someone staring and I wondered if they were thinking what I usually thought about public eaters. I wished I could actually explain but I just tried to get it down as quickly as possible and move on.
This morning a man sat across from me and he pulled out a fancy bag from Petrossian, the caviar purveyors. He then revealed the hugest pastry turnover I've ever seen. I don't know what was in it but he devoured it and his beard was loaded with crumbs afterward. I was mesmerized. Every time he moved crumbs would dislodge. I was wondering if this really huge giant shard that seemed to be front and center would ever take flight. For as long as I shared the ride with him that bad boy did not break free of it's beard lined prison . I wondered if he went to work at the health food store like that or went to his weight watchers meeting like that or met up with his wife who prides herself on him eating only her food looking like that. The thought kinda cracked me up. Other people read their papers or play with their phones or ipods and I focus on observing people doing strange things. Go figure, guess I'm just as strange as them.
That's all for now :)
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