Things have been crazy recently, hence my lack of posts over the last two weeks! With Thanksgiving coming in two days I've been really thinking about a lot of things and this post is sort of me thinking out loud. If my quasi introspective ramblings annoy you this may be one to skip :)
This time of year is hard for me, there is no denying it. When I was happily betrothed to my ex, it became easier. I felt like I had "come home" again and had somewhere I belonged. Now, even though we are in each others lives, it's different. Did you ever just feel like crying but you couldn't really identify why? you just felt like you need to do it to sort of "purge" yourself of sadness, wistfulness or some sort of unidentifiable longing? Almost as if you miss a place you've never been to? This is how I felt last week. I had a very cathartic cry, one of those cries that knocks you out and makes you want to just sleep and sleep. So I did and I felt better. I realized that even though my life isn't what I thought it might or could be it's still something I should be proud of. And I remembered hearing a lovely thought from one of my favorite actors, Michael J Fox as he was recently promoting his book "Always Looking up: The Adventures Of An Incurable Optimist". He said " “Happiness grows in direct proportion to your acceptance and inverse proportion to your expectations. This is what I have today . . . I don’t have a choice about this, but I have a million other choices. And if I choose well, I’m going to be a happy person.”
In case you've been living under a rock, Mr Fox has had an insidious, incurable disease (Parkinson's), for many years. Technically, it has robbed him of many things he may have done but his attitude has allowed him to see the ways it has actually enriched his life, not ruined it. He was able to abandon his expectations of what he thought his life was going to be and by doing that, he freed himself up to really live in the moment and have some rich and rewarding experiences that he never imagined he would. His relationships have been much deeper and more meaningful than they would have been had he not had the challenge he has weathered.This is an attitude that I aspire to carry. It is difficult for me, I sometimes catch myself indulging in a bit of self pity now and then. I do not easily find many positive things about being "alone" and not having family. Both my parents and my sister are deceased. Aunts and uncles and my best friend too. I have never met anyone in my circle who truly gets this or has also experienced it and it infuriates me when people say they "know" how I feel. It's insulting and it invalidates my experience. Sometimes I just want to be alone and feel my feelings and come out again to play when it has washed over me. I don't feel sorry for myself but I need to respect my experiences and I am the type to think a lot about the whys and hows of life and try to connect the dots in the best way I can . After all, you don't have to obsess on the past but if you can't learn from it then what was the point?
Those who really love me and know of my fussbudgety nature pass the test. Anyone who tries to force their way in or pushes me to be social or talk before I am ready to repels me. Crazy eh? I feel blessed to have people in my life who know how to deal with me and accept me with all my quirks and when I really think about it none of the people close to me "have" to be close to me, they don't owe me anything or have any obligation to me and that makes it even more precious to me. Now that I think about it, it was pretty special that my ex was the type of guy who could deal with me saying 'leave me alone for a bit, I'll call you when I want to deal again". He was secure enough and wise enough to know that smothering me was certain death to us.
I met a person last summer who really made me reflect a lot on how I treat others. This person made a big deal out of the concept of "kindness". In the end, I had one of the most unpleasant experiences ever with this person and ironically, kindness was the complete antithesis of the way this person behaved. Strangely, he used religion as some sort of "costume" or "mask" that he donned when in fact, he was nothing more than a confused hypocrite who practiced this religion at the temple of self absorption. He was dangerous, he behaved in a manner that was completely irresponsible, selfish and hurtful but he was so self centered that he was completely unable to see this. In him, I saw something very sad and I was even able to pray for him. I saw a person who seemed to know that there is a way to behave and treat others but when it came to putting all these theories into practice he seemed lost and was unable to transfer the ideas and theories he had learned to actual behaviors. I was thankfully able to come to a place where I was actually grateful for that unpleasant experience. It taught me a lot about myself as well as others and it made me re-examine my own behaviors and really rededicate myself to being the best person I can be.
After a lot of thought, I came to the conclusion that most people are born with the 'core" of who they are from the beginning and no matter what books you read or church you go to you either know how to treat your fellow travelers in your journey while you're here...or you don't. Oh sure, you can learn things as you make your way through life and mature and grow as you use your life experiences but some of us seem to be able to utilize our experiences in a more practical way than others.
I have always asked myself these questions when I meet people and lately I am really trying to be brutally honest with myself in my replies.
1.) Are you listening or are you thinking about what you are going to say when this person is done talking? Stop and listen and shut your own thoughts off for a moment.
2.)How would you want this person to speak to you? Really think about that before you open your mouth and give them proper respect no matter how disrespectful they are to you. Respect encourages respect.
3.)What if this person was your own mother or someone else you love and cherish dearly? How would you treat them then? Stop and think about this before you act and slow yourself down.
4.) Are you bringing comfort and acceptance to this persons life? Are you putting good, positive energy out there? Are you making the most of this interaction or are you blowing it off and thinking of yourself and ignoring a person who needs your ear or genuine smile? You really do get back what you put out. You should never behave a certain way because of that agenda but if you are negative, hurried or hurtful it will come back to visit you at some point for sure.
5.) Will you be able to look back at your actions in retrospect and be unashamed and proud of how you've acted? Everyone has moments of douchebaggery but if they are just moments and not a way of life then I think you're doing pretty well!
I am grateful that I have been able to slow myself down and really treat others in a respectful way and I hope that I can do it more often than not in the coming year. My wish for you is that you can be the best "you" this coming year with very few regrets as well!
BONUS.....if you made it this far, you are rewarded with a KICKASS tunaburger recipe! No it is NOT gross so you shut your mouth there, I heard you! I know, you must be asking "Fuss, how much fun can a person take? Please stop, I'm about to die from the excitement of it all!" Well, this recipe is so damned good I wanted to share it. I got it from allrecipes.com. I like that they have reviews of recipes so I can save myself from making a bad one if people warn you in the reviews. I like to to eat these on one of those Arnold sandwich thins or a pepperidge farm deli flat with slices of avocado, red onion and sprouts. I oven bake 'fries" and have a nice spinach salad alongside. Yes, the fun never ends here! And these suckers do NOT taste even the slightest bit fishy, really. I normally hate tuna! I use low sodium Teriyaki too and only about half what the recipe calls for. ENJOY!!!!
Mack's Tunaburgers
Ingredients
1 (6 ounce) can water-packed tuna, drained
1/4 cup teriyaki sauce
1/2 cup bread crumbs
1 egg white
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon minced garlic
1/4 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
Directions
Combine the tuna, teriyaki sauce, bread crumbs, and egg whites in a bowl until well combined, and no large pieces of tuna remain. Season with black pepper, garlic, and hot sauce. Mix well, then form into two patties.
Heat vegetable oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Cook the patties until brown on both sides, about 2 minutes per side.
Nutritional Information
Amount Per Serving Calories: 265 Total Fat: 4.4g Cholesterol: 25mg
Nutritional Information
Mack's Tunaburgers
Servings Per Recipe: 2
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 265
Total Fat: 4.4g
Cholesterol: 25mg
Sodium: 1663mg
Total Carbs: 25.5g
Dietary Fiber: 1.3g
Protein: 29g
VIEW DETAILED NUTRITION
About: Nutrition Info
Powered by: ESHA Nutrient Database
This time of year is hard for me, there is no denying it. When I was happily betrothed to my ex, it became easier. I felt like I had "come home" again and had somewhere I belonged. Now, even though we are in each others lives, it's different. Did you ever just feel like crying but you couldn't really identify why? you just felt like you need to do it to sort of "purge" yourself of sadness, wistfulness or some sort of unidentifiable longing? Almost as if you miss a place you've never been to? This is how I felt last week. I had a very cathartic cry, one of those cries that knocks you out and makes you want to just sleep and sleep. So I did and I felt better. I realized that even though my life isn't what I thought it might or could be it's still something I should be proud of. And I remembered hearing a lovely thought from one of my favorite actors, Michael J Fox as he was recently promoting his book "Always Looking up: The Adventures Of An Incurable Optimist". He said " “Happiness grows in direct proportion to your acceptance and inverse proportion to your expectations. This is what I have today . . . I don’t have a choice about this, but I have a million other choices. And if I choose well, I’m going to be a happy person.”
In case you've been living under a rock, Mr Fox has had an insidious, incurable disease (Parkinson's), for many years. Technically, it has robbed him of many things he may have done but his attitude has allowed him to see the ways it has actually enriched his life, not ruined it. He was able to abandon his expectations of what he thought his life was going to be and by doing that, he freed himself up to really live in the moment and have some rich and rewarding experiences that he never imagined he would. His relationships have been much deeper and more meaningful than they would have been had he not had the challenge he has weathered.This is an attitude that I aspire to carry. It is difficult for me, I sometimes catch myself indulging in a bit of self pity now and then. I do not easily find many positive things about being "alone" and not having family. Both my parents and my sister are deceased. Aunts and uncles and my best friend too. I have never met anyone in my circle who truly gets this or has also experienced it and it infuriates me when people say they "know" how I feel. It's insulting and it invalidates my experience. Sometimes I just want to be alone and feel my feelings and come out again to play when it has washed over me. I don't feel sorry for myself but I need to respect my experiences and I am the type to think a lot about the whys and hows of life and try to connect the dots in the best way I can . After all, you don't have to obsess on the past but if you can't learn from it then what was the point?
Those who really love me and know of my fussbudgety nature pass the test. Anyone who tries to force their way in or pushes me to be social or talk before I am ready to repels me. Crazy eh? I feel blessed to have people in my life who know how to deal with me and accept me with all my quirks and when I really think about it none of the people close to me "have" to be close to me, they don't owe me anything or have any obligation to me and that makes it even more precious to me. Now that I think about it, it was pretty special that my ex was the type of guy who could deal with me saying 'leave me alone for a bit, I'll call you when I want to deal again". He was secure enough and wise enough to know that smothering me was certain death to us.
I met a person last summer who really made me reflect a lot on how I treat others. This person made a big deal out of the concept of "kindness". In the end, I had one of the most unpleasant experiences ever with this person and ironically, kindness was the complete antithesis of the way this person behaved. Strangely, he used religion as some sort of "costume" or "mask" that he donned when in fact, he was nothing more than a confused hypocrite who practiced this religion at the temple of self absorption. He was dangerous, he behaved in a manner that was completely irresponsible, selfish and hurtful but he was so self centered that he was completely unable to see this. In him, I saw something very sad and I was even able to pray for him. I saw a person who seemed to know that there is a way to behave and treat others but when it came to putting all these theories into practice he seemed lost and was unable to transfer the ideas and theories he had learned to actual behaviors. I was thankfully able to come to a place where I was actually grateful for that unpleasant experience. It taught me a lot about myself as well as others and it made me re-examine my own behaviors and really rededicate myself to being the best person I can be.
After a lot of thought, I came to the conclusion that most people are born with the 'core" of who they are from the beginning and no matter what books you read or church you go to you either know how to treat your fellow travelers in your journey while you're here...or you don't. Oh sure, you can learn things as you make your way through life and mature and grow as you use your life experiences but some of us seem to be able to utilize our experiences in a more practical way than others.
I have always asked myself these questions when I meet people and lately I am really trying to be brutally honest with myself in my replies.
1.) Are you listening or are you thinking about what you are going to say when this person is done talking? Stop and listen and shut your own thoughts off for a moment.
2.)How would you want this person to speak to you? Really think about that before you open your mouth and give them proper respect no matter how disrespectful they are to you. Respect encourages respect.
3.)What if this person was your own mother or someone else you love and cherish dearly? How would you treat them then? Stop and think about this before you act and slow yourself down.
4.) Are you bringing comfort and acceptance to this persons life? Are you putting good, positive energy out there? Are you making the most of this interaction or are you blowing it off and thinking of yourself and ignoring a person who needs your ear or genuine smile? You really do get back what you put out. You should never behave a certain way because of that agenda but if you are negative, hurried or hurtful it will come back to visit you at some point for sure.
5.) Will you be able to look back at your actions in retrospect and be unashamed and proud of how you've acted? Everyone has moments of douchebaggery but if they are just moments and not a way of life then I think you're doing pretty well!
I am grateful that I have been able to slow myself down and really treat others in a respectful way and I hope that I can do it more often than not in the coming year. My wish for you is that you can be the best "you" this coming year with very few regrets as well!
BONUS.....if you made it this far, you are rewarded with a KICKASS tunaburger recipe! No it is NOT gross so you shut your mouth there, I heard you! I know, you must be asking "Fuss, how much fun can a person take? Please stop, I'm about to die from the excitement of it all!" Well, this recipe is so damned good I wanted to share it. I got it from allrecipes.com. I like that they have reviews of recipes so I can save myself from making a bad one if people warn you in the reviews. I like to to eat these on one of those Arnold sandwich thins or a pepperidge farm deli flat with slices of avocado, red onion and sprouts. I oven bake 'fries" and have a nice spinach salad alongside. Yes, the fun never ends here! And these suckers do NOT taste even the slightest bit fishy, really. I normally hate tuna! I use low sodium Teriyaki too and only about half what the recipe calls for. ENJOY!!!!
Mack's Tunaburgers
Ingredients
1 (6 ounce) can water-packed tuna, drained
1/4 cup teriyaki sauce
1/2 cup bread crumbs
1 egg white
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon minced garlic
1/4 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
Directions
Combine the tuna, teriyaki sauce, bread crumbs, and egg whites in a bowl until well combined, and no large pieces of tuna remain. Season with black pepper, garlic, and hot sauce. Mix well, then form into two patties.
Heat vegetable oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Cook the patties until brown on both sides, about 2 minutes per side.
Nutritional Information
Amount Per Serving Calories: 265 Total Fat: 4.4g Cholesterol: 25mg
Nutritional Information
Mack's Tunaburgers
Servings Per Recipe: 2
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 265
Total Fat: 4.4g
Cholesterol: 25mg
Sodium: 1663mg
Total Carbs: 25.5g
Dietary Fiber: 1.3g
Protein: 29g
VIEW DETAILED NUTRITION
About: Nutrition Info
Powered by: ESHA Nutrient Database
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