Lately I've been noticing that where ever I turn, I seem to be hearing about this Justin Beiber kid. He's today's answer for the Leif Garretts, Andy Gibbs and Scott Baio's of my day. Yes, I realize I'm dating myself but it seems like the idols of my day actually had chest hair of some sort and some of them even had drivers licenses. Justin Beiber is 16 but he looks 12. The girls in his videos all look bigger than him. I know it's horrible, bitchy and mean for a grown woman like me to me to gripe about a 16 year old sensation but too fucking bad, it's my blog and he's annoying the crap out of me lately so there. I just suddenly became aware of this kid recently. Last year there was a mob scene at a mall nearby here where they had to call in the cops because people went wild for this kid. I had never heard of him. Honestly, he's not all THAT bad, I think I may be feeling a bit jealous at this kid having more radiant skin than me. Life just isnt fair.
The crazy thing is, I have been hearing his songs on the radio and I thought it was a chick! I was actually tapping my toes to "Baby" thinking, "I wonder who this girl is?"and "Oh, that sounds like Ludicris" I had no idea it was a teenage boy! I gotta tell ya I hate to admit it ,but the song actually was pretty catchy. And the video was pretty cute, at least the Ludicris part. To make matters worse, he totally reminds me of a younger Ellen Page, you know that girl from the movie Juno? Look at her. Now look at him. See what I mean? He almost has a trendy lesbian vibe to him. I ain't buying the teen boy thing right now, something is off for me. I have a weird suspicion that he's actually 35 and he's already gone through puberty. Sort of like Ralph Macchio in the Karate Kid. Remember that? He was 23 when he filmed Karate Kid and he easily looked 14. It was freaky. Even now he looks a lot younger than his 49 years. As far as Justin, I wonder what's gonna happen to that voice once he hits puberty? Will his career be over? Should be interesting.
Strangely, Justin signed a contract with R&B superstar Usher after his manager saw him on you tube. Now, Usher is grooming him to be an R&B/pop performer to the point where Ludricris was featured on one of his recent songs! Justin Beibers followers are called...are ya ready for this?....BELIBERS! I have to admit I had a nice laugh at hearing that one. Is anyone else surprised by this? Usher, lucked out here because this kid is becoming huge. I pray to God he doesn't become a bloated, unrecognizable mess in a few years from now while wigged out on presciption pain meds and cheap booze. Big lesson here for me as well, do something fabulous on you tube STAT and stop wasting your greatness in your apartment alone.
All this makes me wonder a bit, what the hell is going on with girls now? Why are their idols so girlish? I mean, we had Johnny Depp way back when during his "21 Jump Street" days and he was quite the lady back then but still, you knew he was a boy for sure. I realize that tweens are not gonna go for a guy who seems to be any kind of a threat with his masculinity or sexuality, they still need it to be all innocent and swoonish but this Beiber kid looks like he should be dating Taylor Lautner. Can't you picture Taylor Lautner dating her? I totally could. Miley Cyrus looks like she could be his mother for crying out loud. I don't know what's more maddening for me lately....being haunted by Miley Cyrus's "Party in the USA or Justin Beibers "One Less Lonely Girl". I actually like "One Less Lonely Girl". There, I said it. That is one sweet video, go over to youtube and watch it, seriously, it makes me feel young and hopeful again, props to the Beibster on that one.
Oh and in case you havn't seen it there is a really popular and hilarious video of a 3 year old little girl who is crying hysterically because she loves Justin Beiber so much. He actually surprised her on Jimmy Kimmel. Even my hardened heart thought this was adorable, especially the part where the phone rings and she thinks its him.
Was that not the cutest thing? It almost made him bearable for me.
Anyway, now that I've come across as a haggy, bitter old woman and criticized this child mercilessly, I guess I'll step down from my podium for the time being. Justin, not that you're reading this, but I hope you make me a fool and go on to do really great things. Stay away from drugs and loose women/men, DO NOT make any sex tapes of yourself or at least wait till you're a has been and use to it revive your sagging career. Oh and make sure you do a stint in drug rehab or better yet, sex rebab. Sex rehab is the new drug rehab, FYI. Everyone who's anyone is in sex rehab, has done it or is planning to do it. I really do hope for the best for you despite my vicious attack on ya. Even I can admit that some of your songs are...catchy. 'Nuff said.
PEACE OUT YO *Z gang sign Z*
The crazy thing is, I have been hearing his songs on the radio and I thought it was a chick! I was actually tapping my toes to "Baby" thinking, "I wonder who this girl is?"and "Oh, that sounds like Ludicris" I had no idea it was a teenage boy! I gotta tell ya I hate to admit it ,but the song actually was pretty catchy. And the video was pretty cute, at least the Ludicris part. To make matters worse, he totally reminds me of a younger Ellen Page, you know that girl from the movie Juno? Look at her. Now look at him. See what I mean? He almost has a trendy lesbian vibe to him. I ain't buying the teen boy thing right now, something is off for me. I have a weird suspicion that he's actually 35 and he's already gone through puberty. Sort of like Ralph Macchio in the Karate Kid. Remember that? He was 23 when he filmed Karate Kid and he easily looked 14. It was freaky. Even now he looks a lot younger than his 49 years. As far as Justin, I wonder what's gonna happen to that voice once he hits puberty? Will his career be over? Should be interesting.
Strangely, Justin signed a contract with R&B superstar Usher after his manager saw him on you tube. Now, Usher is grooming him to be an R&B/pop performer to the point where Ludricris was featured on one of his recent songs! Justin Beibers followers are called...are ya ready for this?....BELIBERS! I have to admit I had a nice laugh at hearing that one. Is anyone else surprised by this? Usher, lucked out here because this kid is becoming huge. I pray to God he doesn't become a bloated, unrecognizable mess in a few years from now while wigged out on presciption pain meds and cheap booze. Big lesson here for me as well, do something fabulous on you tube STAT and stop wasting your greatness in your apartment alone.
All this makes me wonder a bit, what the hell is going on with girls now? Why are their idols so girlish? I mean, we had Johnny Depp way back when during his "21 Jump Street" days and he was quite the lady back then but still, you knew he was a boy for sure. I realize that tweens are not gonna go for a guy who seems to be any kind of a threat with his masculinity or sexuality, they still need it to be all innocent and swoonish but this Beiber kid looks like he should be dating Taylor Lautner. Can't you picture Taylor Lautner dating her? I totally could. Miley Cyrus looks like she could be his mother for crying out loud. I don't know what's more maddening for me lately....being haunted by Miley Cyrus's "Party in the USA or Justin Beibers "One Less Lonely Girl". I actually like "One Less Lonely Girl". There, I said it. That is one sweet video, go over to youtube and watch it, seriously, it makes me feel young and hopeful again, props to the Beibster on that one.
Oh and in case you havn't seen it there is a really popular and hilarious video of a 3 year old little girl who is crying hysterically because she loves Justin Beiber so much. He actually surprised her on Jimmy Kimmel. Even my hardened heart thought this was adorable, especially the part where the phone rings and she thinks its him.
Was that not the cutest thing? It almost made him bearable for me.
Anyway, now that I've come across as a haggy, bitter old woman and criticized this child mercilessly, I guess I'll step down from my podium for the time being. Justin, not that you're reading this, but I hope you make me a fool and go on to do really great things. Stay away from drugs and loose women/men, DO NOT make any sex tapes of yourself or at least wait till you're a has been and use to it revive your sagging career. Oh and make sure you do a stint in drug rehab or better yet, sex rebab. Sex rehab is the new drug rehab, FYI. Everyone who's anyone is in sex rehab, has done it or is planning to do it. I really do hope for the best for you despite my vicious attack on ya. Even I can admit that some of your songs are...catchy. 'Nuff said.
PEACE OUT YO *Z gang sign Z*
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