Happy New Year!

New Years eve is a touchy thing for me. I've always hated it, and even when I was a kid in my 20's I never went out and "partied" like I was probably supposed to do. I have two particular NY's eves that really seem to stick out in my mind above all others. My fondest New Years eve memory is of the time that I was with a bunch of friends driving around in a blizzard in upstate New York to be with my Mother at the stroke of midnight. My friends parents were all out or with each other and my Mother was a widow and made no big deal out of NY's eve ,but I remember feeling sadness at the thought of her being alone at midnight. I was probably 16 or 17 at the time and one of my friends sisters drove us around because she had her license. We decided that no matter where we were that we were going to be at my house with my Mom when Dick Clark pronounced it a new year.

We had nowhere to go really because none of us were wild and crazy girls so we just drove around and it was a terrible night. The wind was howling and the road was blanketed with snow, but when you're young you don't think of the possibilities of an accident on a night like NYs eve because you think you're immortal. At about 11:15, we began to head to my house from a town away and we noticed that there was a car following us very closely on the desolate road that we were traveling. Even though we were all in good spirits and singing along with a blasting radio, we all began to get a little nervous. The car behind us began to flash it's lights at us. My friends sister pulled the car over as we all screamed at her not too. We were convinced that we were about to be murdered. A young man got out of the car and walked up to our window and leaned in. He said "can you tell me how to get to Meadow street?" We bursted out laughing. This person had been following us through two towns and obviously did not want to find Meadow street. He was young too and was driving around a carload of young guys much the same as we were doing. This is what people did in small towns when I was growing up. We were bored out of our skulls and not drug takers so we just aimlessly drove around looking for others who were bored to hang out with. We wished each other a Happy NY and went our separate ways and headed toward my house. The look on my mothers face when we arrived was priceless. She was in her nightgown with her chips, dip and soda, watching TV and she looked so happy and welcoming. That was probably 25 years ago and I still remember it in enough detail to tell it to you now. It makes me feel better about not having a wild NY's eve each year because to me, NY's eve is about being with the person or people who mean most to you in the world. NY's eve is a time of looking back on the past year and being honest with yourself about your choices and the way you're living your life and whether it's working for you or not. To me, it's sort of like a yearly check-up, like you would have with your Dr. Is the direction your life is going in the way you want it to be and if it isn't, what can you do to change it and be a better person? I usually look at how I have failed myself and others and try to set things right and I also try to give myself credit for getting through the difficult times and for being resilient and for doing the good things that I have done.



The other NY's eve I vividly remember was the millennium, from 1999 to 2000. I had come through a truly horrible time. My Mother had passed away a few years prior and I had spent the years since going back to school for another degree to change the direction of my life and I had also decided that I was not going to be overweight anymore after a lifetime of struggle. In 1997 I lost 89 pounds. I was working on keeping it off and enjoying life as a hot single chick. One of the dearest people on earth who I have known since 1986 invited me to his place to ring in the NY with him and another old friend. Off I went, for my first celebration as a thin woman. I wore a VERY short leopard print miniskirt and a fitted black top and knee high boots. He lived above a jazz club so we went downstairs to the club and listened to a few sets of the music before heading back upstairs to his apartment to ring in the new year. He took special care to buy a nice bottle of champagne and we gathered around as the 1 minute countdown started. The plan was to pop the cork at exactly midnight. There we stood , all ready to scream Happy New Year as he began to pull the cork out...10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-..........NOTHING. The bottle would not uncork. We stood there glasses in hand and experienced the most anti-climactic moment of our lives while he shrieked, 'Oh My God! I cannot get the cork out!". Then we all laughed hysterically for quite a while. We are all self deprecating people and agreed that this was par for the course with our lives in general. All the build up and for WHAT?! But to this day we still occasionally refer to the big NY's bust of 2000. It's become a sort of real life Charlie Brown moment. Wah-wahhhh.



So today, on this New Years day 2009, I wish you all the best year possible. I hope you find the strength and motivation to make your dreams come true and enjoy and easily cope with each and every moment of what life has in store for you. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us and for me personally I plan on truly participating in life to the fullest and letting each and every person who loves me know how much that love means to me and returning it in kind.



Happy New Year! :)

Gratitude

This week we will be celebrating Thanksgiving and that usually makes me take stock of the things I am grateful for. It's a shame that this holiday has basically become known as a national day of over eating because it was intended to be something so much more. This year has been one of the worst years of my entire life which makes the following exercise particularly therapeutic. Tonight, I am going to try and come up with a top 10 list of sorts. Gratitude is something that is often lacking in me when I become too caught up in the daily grind and the sometimes Herculean effort of just surviving in today's world. It is something that I am consciously making an effort to be more in touch with. I have found that the more in touch I am with what I am grateful for, the less I want or need and that is a beautiful thing! I highly recommend that everyone reading this take your own self survey and focus on the wonderful things in your own life as well.

1.) FRIENDS. My God am I blessed. I never realized how much till a crisis this year that really tested my metal. You know you are truly cared about when you get phone calls at all hours just checking up on you because you are too distraught to make calls or reach out yourself. I never really thought that anyone would care if I was seriously in trouble ,but I was wrong. From the healing gemstones I got in the mail to the cards and long conversations,to the dinners and thoughtful gifts I really don't know what to say so I'll leave it at that. I only hope that I am half as good to those who have been watching over me this year during my difficult times.

2.) My health. Even though I am facing a possible surgery, I am relatively healthy and strong and manage to go out into the world everyday and perform a physically demanding job. I look around on a daily basis at those less fortunate than me, and I am thankful for my physical well being.

3.) A job that I love and the opportunity to make very human connections with a diverse group of people on a daily basis. When I put my head on my pillow every night I rest knowing that I served a purpose and helped make another person's life more comfortable for this day.

4.)A place to live in a neighborhood/city that I love with affordable rent and a very nice landlord.

5.)An abundance of "things". All the perfume and makeup a woman could ever want. I have been concentrating on enjoying what I have and in that, I have stopped searching and buying. I realized that spending money on things I already have is counterproductive to the life I want to live and the goals I want to achieve. I'm still a girl who enjoys girly things but I am a more satisfied person lately

6.)Trader Joe's. You didn't think this was all going to be serious did you? Trader Joe's is heaven on earth! I wish there could be one in every town on earth. If it was down the block from me I would be in there on a daily basis.

7. Fashionable down coats. Gone are the days of those icky,manly Columbia down coats. Now, I have about 4 down coats that are totally high fashion, fitted, super stylish and really flattering. And they keep me really toasty while looking good.

8.)A BFF who works in a high end NYC Dept store who offered me his discount when shopping. This will come in handy with the colder weather coming and my lack of snow boots.

9.)A hairdresser who completely understands me and my mop and has made me look the best I ever have in my entire life with his magic hands. My recent haircut was the best ever, I pray that this man never ever retires or leaves me! I wish this for women everywhere on earth!

10.) The existence of BACON. Seriously. I know it sounds crazy but bacon makes me so deliriously happy that it's just unbelievable. It's like some strange sort of drug for me. I rarely eat meat ever but bacon, well, bacon is just MAGIC. Oh and since I'm thinking of foodstuffs.... Champagne and truffle salt. I am at # 10 so I can't make another number for these but I just had to add them. On Champagne, the bubbles, the scent, the tickling on the back of my throat and the sound of the cork popping. It's a sensory treat in every way! And truffle salt ,well, I realize that this makes me sound like a really out of touch elite snob but really, this stuff is just the most amazing thing I've tasted in a very long time. It is the salt God puts on his food, I am nearly sure of this. I tried it years ago and I guess I was not as open as I am now to different flavors. I was at Zabars a few weeks ago and was overcome with the urge to buy a small 3 ounce jar of it for the whopping sum of $19 (!!!!). FOR SALT. Yes, I questioned my sanity at the time but since cracking it open it has graced vegetables, meat, salad,pasta,risotto, popcorn, eggs....just about everything and it is the most fabulous rich delicious flavor on earth! Highly recommend and actually worth every penny as there is just nothing else like this flavor wise out there and it adds no fat to your food at all!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone reading this! :)

Hey Ladies, you Ladies!! A Bittersweet Warning from Charlene to Women Everywhere.....

Now that I understand how to post a video/link here, a monster has been created. I have obviously been doing some reminiscing lately about my youth and in the spirit of the 70's, I present to you the inimitable Charlene.

If you were around in the late 70's early 80's there is just no way you could not remember this one. Unfortunately, I know every last word to this song. I even have the bizarre speaking interlude down to a "T". This is one of those songs that I just know despite fighting it. My brain absorbed this schlock like a hungry sponge and all these years later I still know every last detail and inflection of it. The use of the word 'Lady" is strictly a late 70's/ 80's thing and it only adds to the quirky charm of this one. Remember the Commodores "Lady"? Kenny Rogers "Lady"?? See what I'm saying? Whenever I hear a man refer to his wife or girlfriend today as "my lady" I have to stifle to urge to burst out laughing and look for his Members Only jacket. It's just not something we really should be saying anymore. for me, it's right up there with groovy.


According to info taken from Wikipedia, this song was originally released in 1976 and it only reached #97 on the hot 100 singles of 1977. Can you imagine what was almost lost to us forever? This gem went undiscovered until 1982 when DJ Scott Shannon brought attention to it at the Florida radio station he resided at. The 1982 version of this song has that glorious spoken bridge added. What would it be without that? Charlene became so hot at the time that she even released a duet with Stevie Wonder . I think that alone confirms she was quite the "it" girl of 1982.



Over the years, this has become the song that just wouldn't die. It was the opening track to the 1994 movie "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert". When that film became an musical play in Australia Charlene was all over Aussie TV singing it as well. With talk of this play coming to the UK and U.S soon Charlene has even recorded a newer version recently. A few years back she also released a dance mix version of it as well. I now present to you....Charlene's "Never Been to Me"





Frankly, I'd like to have a sit down with Charlene and tell her what I think of her and her cautionary tale. She obviously intended this as a warning to "discontented mothers, and regimented wives" everywhere but her bad ass bragging about her fabulous life makes me feel even more lacking and like I have been sitting on the sidelines here for way too long. Charlene, your whining about your empty yet fabulous life is just not having the impact on me that I think you intended it to.

How can I feel sorry for a woman who has been to Nice, the Isle of Greece and sipped champagne on a yacht?? Why she even moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed em what she's got! Granted, she's been undressed by kings and seen some things that "a woman ain't 'supposed to see", but it still sounds miles better than the constant struggle to survive that I'm dealing with here on a daily basis. This is supposed to make me appreciate my crappy life how Charlene? OK, so you made love (ACK!!!!! there it is!!) with a preacher man in the sun and that is definitely NOT cool. Do I smell Joel Osteen here somewhere? And there's that part about how you've spent your "life exploring the subtle whoring" that costs too much to be free? POOR YOU. You're a self admitted whore/good time girl who has been enjoying the sweet life and now I'm supposed to believe that you'd rather be dealing with my predictably boring existence that makes me want to tear my hair out at least 3x a week? Sure, OK, that's believable. Oh and please refrain from using the phrase "making love" thank you very much.


I particularly like the spoken part in this..."Hey, you know what paradise is? It's a lie. A fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be. But you know what truth is? It's that little baby you're holding, and it's that man you fought with this morning. The same one you're going to make love with tonight, That's truth, that's love!" And there you have it. Life advice from a self admitted whore. Thanks for caring Charlene. Chances are that if I've fought with my husband in the morning I am not going to be "making love" with him tonite. Maybe you've had your legs in the air a few years too many and have lost touch with the reality of what it's like to live with an asshole like I do.

So in summary here:

Things Charlene has done:

1) Been to Georgia +

2.)Been to California +

3.)Been to Nice +++

4.)Been to the Isle of Greece +++

5.)Moved Like Harlow through Monte Carlo +++

6.)Sipped Champagne on a Yacht +++

7.)Made love with a preacher man in the sun - - (eww)

8.)Been undressed by kings (plus or minus depends on who)

9.)Seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see - - - (do tell what these things were Charlene, I want to know this)

10.)Lived the sweet life +++

11.)Been to paradise +++

12.)Explored subtle whoring +/-

13.) Been to cryin' for unborn children -

Things Charlene has not done

1.)Never been to herself (Charlene, I've been here and it's over rated)

2.)Never had a stable relationship with a man (REALLY over rated, yes, I'm bitter right now)

3.)Never had a baby (you're still young, adopt)

Hmmm, let me think, decisions, decisions........NOPE. I'll still take your life over being me. Nice try though.

I must add to this that there was also a male version of this song too. I remember hearing it on the old AM radio very late one night as I was driving my mothers car through a blizzard in upstate NY. I laughed so hard I nearly drove the car off into a ditch. The lyrics were from a male viewpoint and there was even a part about the guy breaking out of jail or something. I did find the lyrics via a web search but I am not sure who sang it. For some reason I always though it was Larry Graham but I could be totally wrong on this. If you know who it is, please inform me. Here are the male lyrics and a link to click on to hear it being sung: (This is a Demo Version "sung" by the man that wrote it,Ron Miller, not the person that recorded it for radio listeners.) It is quite possibly the most depressing song I have ever heard. I honestly just wanted to take a lot of pills and lay down with the shades drawn waiting to die after hearing this. You absolutely MUST listen to this, it takes a minute to load, thanks to Shawn Collins for this link)

CLICK LINK HERE ON SONG TITLE BELOW:

Ive Never Been To Me - male version - Ron Miller

Hey mister, hey mister, I just want a dime‘Cause I need a cup of coffee and a moment of your time..I can tell your raising hell the way I used to do, But I wish someone woulda’ talked to me Like I wanna talk to you

I’ve been to Georgia and California ,anywhere I could run, I stole a woman in Tennessee and we made love in the sun. But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free, I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me

Thanks mister, thanks mister, But please don’t walk away ‘cause I have this need to tell you, why I’m all alone today. I can see so much of me still living in your eyes ,won’t you share a part of an old mans heart on the day before he dies?

I’ve been to China & Asia Minor on any ship that would sail, I made some noise with some good old boys we wrecked a southern jail

I’ve seen the best men crawl and some teardrops fall there ain’t nothing I ain’t seen, I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me

I’ve even been to marriage where children cry for someone they couldn't find ,never knowing that I was searching for things I left behind

I thought my heart could wait but I learned too late..Only love can make people free I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me"

And there you have it. They just don't make 'em like this anymore do they?

That's all for now :)