Happy New Year!

New Years eve is a touchy thing for me. I've always hated it, and even when I was a kid in my 20's I never went out and "partied" like I was probably supposed to do. I have two particular NY's eves that really seem to stick out in my mind above all others. My fondest New Years eve memory is of the time that I was with a bunch of friends driving around in a blizzard in upstate New York to be with my Mother at the stroke of midnight. My friends parents were all out or with each other and my Mother was a widow and made no big deal out of NY's eve ,but I remember feeling sadness at the thought of her being alone at midnight. I was probably 16 or 17 at the time and one of my friends sisters drove us around because she had her license. We decided that no matter where we were that we were going to be at my house with my Mom when Dick Clark pronounced it a new year.

We had nowhere to go really because none of us were wild and crazy girls so we just drove around and it was a terrible night. The wind was howling and the road was blanketed with snow, but when you're young you don't think of the possibilities of an accident on a night like NYs eve because you think you're immortal. At about 11:15, we began to head to my house from a town away and we noticed that there was a car following us very closely on the desolate road that we were traveling. Even though we were all in good spirits and singing along with a blasting radio, we all began to get a little nervous. The car behind us began to flash it's lights at us. My friends sister pulled the car over as we all screamed at her not too. We were convinced that we were about to be murdered. A young man got out of the car and walked up to our window and leaned in. He said "can you tell me how to get to Meadow street?" We bursted out laughing. This person had been following us through two towns and obviously did not want to find Meadow street. He was young too and was driving around a carload of young guys much the same as we were doing. This is what people did in small towns when I was growing up. We were bored out of our skulls and not drug takers so we just aimlessly drove around looking for others who were bored to hang out with. We wished each other a Happy NY and went our separate ways and headed toward my house. The look on my mothers face when we arrived was priceless. She was in her nightgown with her chips, dip and soda, watching TV and she looked so happy and welcoming. That was probably 25 years ago and I still remember it in enough detail to tell it to you now. It makes me feel better about not having a wild NY's eve each year because to me, NY's eve is about being with the person or people who mean most to you in the world. NY's eve is a time of looking back on the past year and being honest with yourself about your choices and the way you're living your life and whether it's working for you or not. To me, it's sort of like a yearly check-up, like you would have with your Dr. Is the direction your life is going in the way you want it to be and if it isn't, what can you do to change it and be a better person? I usually look at how I have failed myself and others and try to set things right and I also try to give myself credit for getting through the difficult times and for being resilient and for doing the good things that I have done.



The other NY's eve I vividly remember was the millennium, from 1999 to 2000. I had come through a truly horrible time. My Mother had passed away a few years prior and I had spent the years since going back to school for another degree to change the direction of my life and I had also decided that I was not going to be overweight anymore after a lifetime of struggle. In 1997 I lost 89 pounds. I was working on keeping it off and enjoying life as a hot single chick. One of the dearest people on earth who I have known since 1986 invited me to his place to ring in the NY with him and another old friend. Off I went, for my first celebration as a thin woman. I wore a VERY short leopard print miniskirt and a fitted black top and knee high boots. He lived above a jazz club so we went downstairs to the club and listened to a few sets of the music before heading back upstairs to his apartment to ring in the new year. He took special care to buy a nice bottle of champagne and we gathered around as the 1 minute countdown started. The plan was to pop the cork at exactly midnight. There we stood , all ready to scream Happy New Year as he began to pull the cork out...10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-..........NOTHING. The bottle would not uncork. We stood there glasses in hand and experienced the most anti-climactic moment of our lives while he shrieked, 'Oh My God! I cannot get the cork out!". Then we all laughed hysterically for quite a while. We are all self deprecating people and agreed that this was par for the course with our lives in general. All the build up and for WHAT?! But to this day we still occasionally refer to the big NY's bust of 2000. It's become a sort of real life Charlie Brown moment. Wah-wahhhh.



So today, on this New Years day 2009, I wish you all the best year possible. I hope you find the strength and motivation to make your dreams come true and enjoy and easily cope with each and every moment of what life has in store for you. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us and for me personally I plan on truly participating in life to the fullest and letting each and every person who loves me know how much that love means to me and returning it in kind.



Happy New Year! :)