Subway Chilvary

Yesterday, I was really not doing well. I'm not going to go into the gory details, but it felt like everything in my life was crumbling and I was at my breaking point. The breaking point came at 5 pm after working all day in the bitter freezing cold and going to my physical therapy appointment. Everyone I encountered seemed to give me bad news and I was just primed for a good cry. You know, one of those therapeutic cries when you lay down in your bed with your box of puffs next to you and just cry and cry till there is nothing left and then you fall asleep from the exhaustion of it all?

The problem was, I could not hold it in during my commute home and it started, of all places, ON THE SUBWAY. Yep, on the N train as it hurtled through the tunnel underneath the 59th Street bridge. Oh it wasn't an ugly cry or anything. No one even noticed it was so contained, except one guy. He was standing in the coveted doorway spot and I was leaning against the middle pole in front of him. There were no seats. I had just tilted my face toward the floor and the tears were rolling down my face quietly. I must have looked pretty pathetic because this man who stood there just a couple of feet away from me was watching and he happened to be holding a big bouquet of flowers. I honestly didn't even notice him, I was that wrapped up in my own pain. It was at that moment that something truly adorable happened. The man with the flowers leaned toward me and handed me the bouquet. It took me a moment to realize what was happening and as I did I looked up at him and smiled and thanked him and said no....no thanks but thank you so much for doing that and that the gesture was enough. We smiled at each other for a few seconds and then the train stopped and we parted.

I'm still thinking of that man today and even though I still feel pretty awful and like a lost soul, he really made me think that maybe the world isn't such a lonely place after all. Maybe there are some good things out there that are worth hanging around for and I should try to refocus my mind of the good things I see and hear on a daily basis and filter out the negative ones that are dragging me into the state I seem to be stuck in lately.

So to the guy on the N train who noticed the girl who was crying......thank you, you are a beautiful person who crossed paths with me at just the right time. Whoever ended up getting those flowers is a very lucky person.

:)