..........as the day I had the horrible realization that my neck is not what it used to be. Yeah, I know. What a vapid thing to post here after being absent for months but it's true. It's been bothering me quite a bit lately and I can't hold it in anymore. Why don't people talk about this more? Am I the only person who is completely flipped out by getting a bag of sagging skin under my jaw/chin in a matter of a few years?
There I was walking down the street at about 7:23 pm. I remember it because I was on the phone talking and I looked at the clock. I was on my way to Rite Aid to get some lotion or something, I don't even remember. I was wearing a scarf for a sort of fashion statement type of thing because the weather has FINALLY cooled down. I caught my reflection in a window and I thought, OMFG....I look about 10 years younger with this scarf hiding my old lady neck! How long will this trend toward scarves go on for? How long can I ride this one before it becomes obvious that it's not really about the scarf for me, it's about camo-ing my aging neck?
To be honest, I look pretty damned good for my age and no, I'm not some delusional nutbag in denial thinking I look 20.I know I look pretty good due to constant shock at my age when I tell it and years of clean living. No smoking, no caffeine, no sun, no drugs and taking very good care of my skin since I was 13 and my mother took me to Macy's to get some fancy skincare for fun.
Anyhoo, I am in my mid 40's now and this past summer I really began to become aware of my damned neck. One night I was at a friends and we were laying on her couch talking. She is my age too and she was at a weird angle and we both noticed that her neck looked horrifically old. We both screamed and then brushed it off at the way she was laying. A few weeks later, I was applying makeup and leaning into the mirror and I noticed the same thing with my neck! Needless to say, I ran screaming away from the mirror and blocked it out of my memory. Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I had my picture taken with a younger friend. She looked radiant. I looked like a CUTE OLD LADY! My fucking neck gave me away once again! It's not only the neck, my face is more angular and thinner. The youthful glow is GONE. I used to have to cover up my red cheeks, they were practically flaming red. I bought all sorts of cosmetics to neutralize my red face. Now? I buy blush by the truckload! Without it, I look like a sick Nicole Kidman. Just really really pale and sickly and my red hair makes me look even paler.
So that night, as I realized that my neck is ruining my life as I knew it, I came home and immediately went to makeupalley.com and began to peruse the product reviews for recommended neck creams. Oh yes I did. I hate to admit it but it has finally come to this, I am a vain bitch who is freaking out at my saggy neck. I called my friend and told her my feelings on this and she laughed hysterically but she totally agreed with my feelings on all of this. As a matter of fact, she agreed to split a jar of neck cream with me in solidarity.
See, I know I'm not a spring chicken. I know lines and wrinkles are inevitable. I never look at my face and feel upset at what I see. It's not the face of a girl, it's the face of a woman who has lived her life and had a lot of experiences good and bad. It's a face that my dear sweet Mother gave me and now that she is long gone I find immense comfort in the bits of her that are emerging in this face as I age. But my neck? My neck is something else entirely. There is just no reason for this travesty. Again, I honestly don't mind wrinkles but this neck thing is just more upsetting than I can tell you.
Just wait, when it happens to you, you'll know how freaky it is. Until then, remember this friendly little warning and wear as many V necks as possible, work as many beautiful choker style necklaces as you can...just flaunt that tight little neck for all it's worth. I never thought I would be a "scarf lady" but now, I gravitate toward the wracks of them in every store I walk into. It's my new thing.
Just sayin' :)
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