This almost, ALLLLMOST makes me want to have one!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Gettin' Cozy
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you for your viewing pleasure a very unique "cozy". You know what a cozy is don't you? When I was a child my mother used to have random cozy's around the house. She had them because she was a church going woman and participated in many church bazaars. Now at these types of functions there are all sorts of nick knacks and arts and crafts. Items made with Popsicle sticks , magnets and crocheted items seemed to be big. A cozy is something that is supposed to be used as a covering for an item. There are cozies for door handles, for Kleenex boxes, for rolls of toilet paper and for just about anything you can imagine. Here we have a very sassy cozy that was made for a gentleman. If you don't know what this is for, think really hard and it will come to you.
That's all for now! :)
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Saying Goodbye
Last night, I went to a memorial service. I really did not want to go but I went because I realize the importance of these things and the need for support for the people who have been left behind. The person who died was a wonderful human being and the service was quite interesting. He was an engineer, athlete, inventor....the kind of person who makes you feel like you are not really reaching your potential as a human being. I say this not as a negative thing rather but as a point of interest and a testament to what a wonderful person this individual was.
The thing about this experience that makes it worthy of re-telling it to you though is that as I sat there quietly in my seat, listening to people give their speeches about the deceased and listening to live musical numbers performed by this mans extremely talented family....something rather strange began to happen. Two worlds collided. Let me explain this to you as delicately as I can.
The person who died was black, his wife is white. As a person who has attended traditional services for both white and black people I want to tell you that depending on the religion and customs of the person who is being celebrated these two groups do things quite differently. I have been to black funerals in the baptist church and they are truly something to talk about if you have never been to one. The service starts out with a preacher giving a sermon and people listening and commenting as it is being said. Anyone who feels something at the time it is being said will just express agreement or whatever they are feeling. It is not uncommon for people to be loudly exclaiming...."THAT'S RIGHT!" or "UH-HUH!", or "SWEET JESUS IN HEAVEN HERE US!". This is a normal thing in a black church setting. It is not a normal thing in most traditional white churches. It is not a horrible thing for a person to express themselves, but it is just not something most white congregants do. I actually like the idea and I think it's therapeutic and fitting.
Anyway, after the sermon this is when things are radically different. At a white service, it is just over. People may mingle afterward or those close to the person who died may say a few words but most of the time everyone will go somewhere to eat and continue the conversation in a fairly subdued manner. In a black church, this is when it is just beginning.
After the preacher steps down, usually a choir will sing and the music is quite powerful and rousing. People may dance, they will join in, it's truly a celebration of the person who is gone. Things settle in a bit and people will just get up one at a time and go up to the microphone at the podium and talk about the person who has died. They will even feel the moment and sing with everyone joining in. This will go on for many, many hours. The last service of this type that I attending was still going after 4 hours. I had to leave as people were still talking.
My point in telling you all of this is because of something that happened at the service I attended last night. It was straight out of a Seinfeld episode which was fitting because the service was held on the upper west side of Manhattan where Seinfeld was actually set. I am still laughing when I think of it. Towards the end of the service, an African man was asked by the deceased mans family to speak about him. This man had a very thick accent and was hard to understand and he was not properly holding the microphone up to his mouth as he spoke. This made for an awkward moment. No one could understand him and he did ramble quite a bit. It was at the end of 2 hours of listening to people speak and I think people were ready to get up and go to the buffet table and eat at this point. An elderly black woman sitting next to me started talking very loudly as if no one could hear her. At first she declared "Oh come on! No one can understand this guy!". Now everyone was sitting in very close proximity to everyone else and it was pretty easy for the entire room to hear her. Then she stated "Oh he is just going on and on!! No one wants to hear this! Stop talking!". At this point I think I slid down in my seat a few inches when people began to turn their heads and look back at her. She proceeded to have a severe coughing fit and dig through her gigantic suitcase sized purse for a cough drop. As she did this she said out loud, as if she was the only person in the room, "Oh I just can't find it, where is it? I need it now!" She was talking about her cough drops I'm sure, but it was just so bizarre. As the mumbling African man went on she spouted off "Well I'm hungry and I've had enough of this, come on and finish...enough is enough!". As the man went on she exclaimed "Oh now this is just ridiculous! He keeps going on and on! Make him stop!" Eventually he did stop, on his own but just before he did she got up and lumbered over to the buffet table before anyone else had. The son of the deceased man gave some final words before the closing and he said..."I know a lot of people want to talk but we have run out of time and we can all continue to share our stories over dinner together".....as he said this she bellowed loudly from the buffet table in the adjoining room" Yeah! we're out of time because he hogged it all! Now none of the rest of us can say anything!". I could imagine Elaine and George in this room taking it all in as it happened. It was just hilarious, but maybe you had to be there.
The thing about this experience that makes it worthy of re-telling it to you though is that as I sat there quietly in my seat, listening to people give their speeches about the deceased and listening to live musical numbers performed by this mans extremely talented family....something rather strange began to happen. Two worlds collided. Let me explain this to you as delicately as I can.
The person who died was black, his wife is white. As a person who has attended traditional services for both white and black people I want to tell you that depending on the religion and customs of the person who is being celebrated these two groups do things quite differently. I have been to black funerals in the baptist church and they are truly something to talk about if you have never been to one. The service starts out with a preacher giving a sermon and people listening and commenting as it is being said. Anyone who feels something at the time it is being said will just express agreement or whatever they are feeling. It is not uncommon for people to be loudly exclaiming...."THAT'S RIGHT!" or "UH-HUH!", or "SWEET JESUS IN HEAVEN HERE US!". This is a normal thing in a black church setting. It is not a normal thing in most traditional white churches. It is not a horrible thing for a person to express themselves, but it is just not something most white congregants do. I actually like the idea and I think it's therapeutic and fitting.
Anyway, after the sermon this is when things are radically different. At a white service, it is just over. People may mingle afterward or those close to the person who died may say a few words but most of the time everyone will go somewhere to eat and continue the conversation in a fairly subdued manner. In a black church, this is when it is just beginning.
After the preacher steps down, usually a choir will sing and the music is quite powerful and rousing. People may dance, they will join in, it's truly a celebration of the person who is gone. Things settle in a bit and people will just get up one at a time and go up to the microphone at the podium and talk about the person who has died. They will even feel the moment and sing with everyone joining in. This will go on for many, many hours. The last service of this type that I attending was still going after 4 hours. I had to leave as people were still talking.
My point in telling you all of this is because of something that happened at the service I attended last night. It was straight out of a Seinfeld episode which was fitting because the service was held on the upper west side of Manhattan where Seinfeld was actually set. I am still laughing when I think of it. Towards the end of the service, an African man was asked by the deceased mans family to speak about him. This man had a very thick accent and was hard to understand and he was not properly holding the microphone up to his mouth as he spoke. This made for an awkward moment. No one could understand him and he did ramble quite a bit. It was at the end of 2 hours of listening to people speak and I think people were ready to get up and go to the buffet table and eat at this point. An elderly black woman sitting next to me started talking very loudly as if no one could hear her. At first she declared "Oh come on! No one can understand this guy!". Now everyone was sitting in very close proximity to everyone else and it was pretty easy for the entire room to hear her. Then she stated "Oh he is just going on and on!! No one wants to hear this! Stop talking!". At this point I think I slid down in my seat a few inches when people began to turn their heads and look back at her. She proceeded to have a severe coughing fit and dig through her gigantic suitcase sized purse for a cough drop. As she did this she said out loud, as if she was the only person in the room, "Oh I just can't find it, where is it? I need it now!" She was talking about her cough drops I'm sure, but it was just so bizarre. As the mumbling African man went on she spouted off "Well I'm hungry and I've had enough of this, come on and finish...enough is enough!". As the man went on she exclaimed "Oh now this is just ridiculous! He keeps going on and on! Make him stop!" Eventually he did stop, on his own but just before he did she got up and lumbered over to the buffet table before anyone else had. The son of the deceased man gave some final words before the closing and he said..."I know a lot of people want to talk but we have run out of time and we can all continue to share our stories over dinner together".....as he said this she bellowed loudly from the buffet table in the adjoining room" Yeah! we're out of time because he hogged it all! Now none of the rest of us can say anything!". I could imagine Elaine and George in this room taking it all in as it happened. It was just hilarious, but maybe you had to be there.
The icing on the cake occurred as I mulled around and chatted with people at the buffet table. An elderly woman began to talk to me about how she knew the deceased. I told her how I knew him and the minute she heard that I was in healthcare she told me (over my salad and sandwich) that she was incontinent and had big problems with this. She also happily told me about her physical therapist who taught her how to do kegel exercises and that after doing these for a week her incontinence was seriously improved. Then she said to me "I just thought that would interest you considering what you do for a living".
With that, I promptly finished my sandwich and left.
That's all for now :)
Saturday, October 11, 2008
My Husband Miguel
Let me tell you about the unexpected joys of spending 5 days a week with my work husband Miguel. I work in health care and my job requires traveling all day long and interacting with many people who speak a different language than I do. This is where Miguel comes in. His purpose is as an interpreter between myself and my patients but here is where the beauty part is. Miguel drives, which means I basically have a chauffeur all day long. Of course, my bosses know nothing of Miguel and his car which is intentional. I am already traveling so much I know they would completely take advantage of me more they they already do so Miguel and I keep this part of our relationship on the down low.
The funny part about this whole situation is that the dynamic between us is probably the best relationship I have ever had with any man ever period. I find it really fascinating that Miguel treats me like a queen and knows my quirks, habits, likes, dislikes. Every morning when I wake up, I text Miguel and tell him where to meet me. He will reply nothing more than ..."OK". From the minute I step foot in his car, my 28 ounce Poland Spring sport water bottle and my 25c bag of crunchy cheese doodles (snack of choice) are right there in my seat along with the daily paper. We greet each other, I get my daily "whassup girl?" and we are off.
Miguel is the calmest person I have ever known. He can drive through a massive traffic jam without blinking, take me past a crime scene(which he has in the dicey neighborhood where I work) simply mumbling "oh Lorrrrd, someone's been murdered again" .....he surprises me with a Cuban (sandwich) at least once a week and he consistently tells me to calm down (I freak out daily about anything and everything) and he compliments me on recent weight loss. We talk about relationships, family, work...etc. We are the two most unlikely people to be hanging out together on earth. He is probably about 15 years younger than me but he is under the impression that we are not that far apart in age because I look far younger than I am. Our backgrounds are as far apart as they could be too.
The thing that tickles me is that he treats me better than he probably would if we were actually in a real relationship. This had made me realize that sex is probably the thing that RUINS everything. Yes I know, that is a very warped point of view and kind of extreme of me to say, but I think it makes people comfortable enough after it happens to not have to worry or try as much anymore in CERTAIN (not all of course) instances. One day, we were talking and I was bitching at him for forgetting names, he never remembers anyone's name, even people we see three times a week for months at a time. I said to him, Miguel, you remember my name, why can't you remember our patients who we see regularly? He said without missing a beat, 'You're my wife! Of course I remember your name!" That pretty much sums it up.
I sometimes wonder what is going through that mans head of his and I have caught him on occasion sneaking a peek at my assets, but it is an unspoken fact between us that we are a team and will never go there, if you know what I mean. So for now, I am going to enjoy my "husband" and all the wonderful things he does for me everyday. I am aspiring to carry this over into my "real" life one day too.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
At Last
Well sweet fancy moses, what have we here?? I have never heard of a situation that fits the description "poetic justice": better than this one. Thirteen years to the day, yes TO THE DAY that this arrogant bastard was cleared of murdering his ex-wife and her friend, O.J. Simpson was finally convicted of something and will be serving well deserved jail time. It was also a 13 day trial, the jury deliberated for 13 hours and after the verdict was read the lights went off in the court room. Coincidence?? I think not. This time Mr Simpson robbed two sports memorabilia dealers at gunpoint in a Las Vegas hotel room. Once again, he was a self centered psychopathic bully who thought he was above it all and could get away with doing whatever he damned well pleased and not have to answer to the law. Difference this time is, he could not afford a high priced law firm and could not weasel out of this one. I cannot stand this man so I'm not overly concerned with the fairness of this recent trial but I cannot imagine that the jury was completely unbiased toward him after his sensational murder trial years ago. You would have had to recruit 10 year olds not to know about this or to have heard of this man. Frankly, I am nearly sure that this man is a sociopath who honestly believes that he is a victim who has never done anything wrong and does not deserve the fate he has been handed ,but that is neither here nor there. Somewhere, there must be a real life ghost whisperer who has finally helped Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman cross over to another existence and some peace after all these years. Rest in peace.
Lost and Found
Have you lost your rooster? I think I found him at the corner of 126th Street and Morningside Avenue in Harlem in case you are worried about him. He seems to be pecking around in the yard of St Josephs church right across the street from the soul food restaurant. He looks a little bewildered and suspicious of anyone trying to help him. Please pick him up as soon as you get the chance.
Who Will Save Your Soul?
The Soul Saving Station, that's who! Seen on 124th Street and St Nicholas Ave in Harlem, for your convenience. Easily accesible by the A,C,B and DE trains or the #1 or #2 or #3 trains if you are into a 10 minute walk. Just passing along the info in case you are in need of a little help.
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