Happy Thanksgiving everyone, have some water...

Hey everyone, I don't know about you but for me nothing says Happy Thanksgiving more than a blow-up pilgrim doll couple standing in front of a few cases of Dasani water. They were hanging out at the Entenmans outlet store in the neighborhood. After seeing this today I really felt like fall was finally here. Can the blow up Santas and Frosties be far off? I think not.

That's all for now! :)

My Boyfriends Back And There's Gonna Be Trouble....

And this......is from a non-Republican. Love knows no party.

xoxoxoxxo

Resistance is Futile

Thanks a lot Rite Aid, you are a filthy whore and I cannot resist you.

Taylor Made?

OK, please don't hate me, but doesn't this bunny sort of resemble country queen Taylor Swift? It really does to me. Maybe it's just me. Yeah, It's me.

Happy Sunday, Happy Fall :)

This last week was kinda rough, it just was. So I am going to do a self-indulgent exercise here to re frame my thoughts and get ready for a new week! I am going to free form with you about the good things or "bright" spots lately. (the pic is super tiny I know, I couldn't get a big one for you, it's mentioned below)

1.) Cooler weather. The changing leaves, the feeling of the end of a challenging year and the beginning of something new. I pray daily that I will find my way and make the most of my purpose here. This is something I really struggle with and I really hope that I'm doing the right things with my life and I will be at peace with how I've lived it when I'm finished. I've kind of been really down lately and wondering what all of this is for and feeling like my life is pointless and doesn't matter. I sense this may be seasonal, missing people who are no longer with me and feeling lonely for those people with a terrible, undefinable ache. Maybe it's related to being sick lately and wishing they were here to lean on when in reality I do have loving friends but it's not the same. I don't lean, I'm afraid to lean, I take it all on myself and ....ACK . I am in a TMI state right now and am promptly cutting that mess off. My point is, I am happy to have things shifting and changing and I am looking forward to what is to come even though it is bittersweet. Oh, bonus points in that is I am having the best hair weather of my life. The humidity levels are optimum for me looking the most goddess-like that I have in years. This is good. Just so you don't get the idea that I am too deep and spiritual, I had to remind you that after all, I am just a girl trying to look at cute as possible.

2.) Starting up with tea drinking again. I am not a hot beverage drinker but as I told you, my constant struggle not to eat crap at night has been greatly reduced by drinking fancy teas. Really, if this is an issue for you, try this! I was lucky enough to make it to a teavana yesterday and a wonderful gentleman kindly treated me to a few small bags to try. The coconut ginger tea is my new favorite. It is so interesting and satisfying. There is also a new one called Treviso tiramisu. YUMMO! This is an excellent dessert one. It replaced my munching on sweets last night. I highly recommend trying this if you are a struggling former or current fatty with a few to lose like me. not that you want to envision this but I already feel less bloated! WOOT!

3.)My crush on Mike Bloomberg. Yeah, I know. I'm a sad old woman who probably has 20 cats and knits cozies for the back of my toilet. No, not really. I love HIM, I really do. Daydreaming about him reminds me of when I was 13 and had the hots for Scott Baio or Leif Garrett. *twirls hair and doodles "Mrs. Mike Bloomberg", ahhhhh*

4.)Finally getting to wear boots I spent and OBSCENE amount on. Hear me now John Fluevog, you are ordered to cease and desist the making of your beautiful comfortable extremely costly shoes and boots. I simply cannot afford them and I'm being driven to mentally percolate horrible scenarios as to how I can score more of them in unsavory ways. I feel almost as much passion for these shoes as I do for my beloved Mike. I think if I was ever in a situation where I was wearing my Fluevogs AND standing next to Mike I would probably just spontaneously combust, for life would be just too good. Yes, if I could choose my death it would be to die while out at dinner or even on vacation with Mike and wearing my Fluevogs. Now that's the stuff dreams are made of kiddos.

5.)Pumpkin everything. Being a miserable beeatch who is always conscious of everything I eat I am extremely tempted to go nuts with pumpkin baked goods right now. I love this time of year and all the spices that are in cakes and cookies. I restrain myself daily from Starbucks pumpkin scones but it ain't easy. It's killing me. I had one and I stopped the habit immediately. I also am dying to make my mom's pumpkin bread and pumpkin cookies. But I will not. I am putting up the good fight because I know I am a hopeless beast with no self control and I will eat till it's all gone and then torture everyone I know with the dreaded 'does this make me look fat" question when I know that yes, it does because, yes, you are fat you cake eating hog you.

Just for fun, here is my favorite Carrot Cookie which I turned into a pumpkin cookie by substituting pumpkin for the mashed carrots. This recipe came from a beloved old farm in upstate N.Y called Westheimers Carrot Barn. It was sold and is not the carrot barn anymore but for years my dear mother and I used to go there and enjoy all the fresh vegetables and the little bakery where local ladies made some of the most delicious cakes, cookies, pies and salads and dishes with the vegetables grown there that you've ever tasted. They used to put out a small booklet of those recipes and I lost it. I got ballsy and googled the phone number of the Westheimers and called them. They were shocked that someone was calling them for a cookie recipe. But hey, that's how I roll. I loved these cookies and nothing would stop me from getting the recipe again as long as it is out there! Oh and by the way, Mr Westheimer is the brother of Dr Ruth Westheimer that eccentric little sex therapist who used to be on TV a lot in the 80's. so maybe I should call these "Sexy Carrot Cookies'?...or maybe not.

Millie's Carrot Cookies (or pumpkin if you like)

I cup carrots cooked and mashed (this is a one pound bag before cooking)
1 cup shortening (I always use butter)
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup chopped nuts (I leave out)
1/2 cup raisins

sift together
2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt

Cream together butter, sugar, egg and vanilla. Add mashed carrots (or pumpkin, if you do use pumpkin get the plain stuff without sugar or spices, NOT the pie ready stuff)
Now, add the dry ingredients. fold in the nuts and raisins. I sometimes do not use raisins and nuts, I like to add a cup of chocolate chips.. Bake on a greased cookie sheet (I use parchment) for 10 minutes. Delish plain or iced with a confectioners sugar glaze or a browned butter glaze! They are also heavenly with a cream cheese icing sprinkled with coconut. Damn you, now I want to make them!

6.) OK., I will admit this to you with reservations, and only you because quite frankly I'm a bit ashamed of myself. I wandered over to overstock.com and spotted quite the stunning winter coat. Now to be honest,I have many winter coats, but they all seem to be down and for comfort. I don't have anything "dressy" to speak of. This is probably because I am always freezing and I refuse to wear something to look hot in if it makes me really uncomfortable. This one just called out to me though. It's a black wool military styled coat, very long ankle length. quite dramatic looking. The quality appeared to be pretty nice too. I immediately began to envision myself in this with my Victorian lace up boots and my long red curly hair and I thought wow, this look could really work for me! Lets get some naughty librarian/victorian lady "age of innocence" smouldering sexiness going on here! At that moment I read the details and people, I was shocked to see that this coat sprouted from the fashion stylings of none other than her highness JLo. Yes, Jennifer Lopez. I felt shame and questioned my fashion sense, but there was no denying this was a lovely coat and it was really cheap at that overstock price so I went for it. It is set to arrive this week. We shall see how great it is in person. I will report back. This does remind me of the time I fell in love with a lip gloss from Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen's makeup line at walmart. Oh the shame if it!


7.)Today is THE DAY AFTER. I am off right now to search for some half price Halloween candy. It's my annual tradition every year. I call it "the running of the jiggly thighs". Sort of my tribute to all those brave souls in Spain who chase after bulls, you know?



OK.....that's it for now. sorry if this was a crushing disappointment for you but hey, at least you got a fabulous cookie recipe out of me. That alone was worth the 2 minutes it took you to read today, wasn't it?

Crush of the Month

Dear Mayor Mike,

I think I am in love with you, yes I am. I love your amazing drive and that passion for achieving that just oozes out of you. The fact that you overturned term limits and are going for a third term as my Mayor actually impresses me even more. I am sick to death of that winey assed Bill Thompson crying ad nauseum about what a terrible mayor you have been and how going for a third term is "betraying" the trust of the people of NYC. Betraying? If having a passion for your job to the point of wanting to continue it and make new goals for your vibrant city is betraying, then I don't wanna be right! If people really feel like this loser Thompson claims that they do then I guess we will see that on Tuesday, but I have every confidence in your re-election coming to fruition.

I love that you refuse to live in the Mayoral Gracie mansion. Money saved. Is your billionaire self out of touch with the common man a bit? Oh sure, probably. Do I really find this to be a major reason to get you out of office? Of course not. I like the fact that you take the subway 5 days a week and the fact that you once dated Diana Ross totally impresses me. I'm not a really political person but as someone who lives in your city I think things have been really good since you've been in office. Economic issues are worldwide not just here and I think you are the man to deal with this sort of thing anyway considering your prestigious background and how you made something huge out of nothing.

OK, physically, you do sort of look like an eagle but dammit, I just don't care. I want you and I want you badly Mike. I have had it with unmotivated, sensitive nice guys. For once, I'd like a man , an "alpha" man, who has goals and ambition and makes things happen. Please consider dumping your longtime "gal pal' for the likes of me. I would make you proud, I swear I would. I'm a compassionate person, I could easily come up with some new charities for you and popularize you with common folk who think you're just a snooty billionaire. Oh, and I'm hot as hell so bonus for you on this one. Having me on your arm at public functions would really give you some cred in the romance department.

At least just think about it, OK? I'll be there on Tuesday with bells on voting for your sweet ass. Here's to another 4 years of bliss.

Sexily yours, , Little Miss Fussbudget :)

Gone In 60 Seconds

NYC is a terrible, terrible place to own a car. It just is. It's like having a baby. Every morning, whether you are going anyplace or not you must get up. Unless you were lucky enough to find a parking spot on the correct side of the street the night before. This is due to an annoying little thing called "alternate side of the street parking". Every morning, you will see people half asleep and in their pajamas sitting in their cars waiting for the truck to come through so they can move their cars. At 8 am every morning the street sweeper trucks come through. They basically just stir up dirt in the name of "cleaning".This is why all cars must be on the same side of the street. The truck does a clean sweep of one side. If you were unlucky enough to oversleep and not move your car, you are towed, ticketed or both. There are "traffic enforcement agents" who will be at your car window with a ticket at 1 second after 8. I am not kidding. How do they do it? They are RELENTLESS. They used to be called "brownies" because they wore brown uniforms. This always reminded me of those little girl brownies, you know, the junior Girl Scouts? Well, they are far from innocent, they are downright nasty.

To be honest, they have the worst job on earth really. People in NYC are insane when it comes to parking. I have literally gotten out of the car and stood in a spot till my BF could drive around the block to get to it. I've nearly been killed by angry people looking for a spot like this but there are just times when you get so desperate you just can't drive around the block for another hour looking. It's that bad. We used to have to park 2 subway stops away and take the train here. If you get home after 6, you are pretty much screwed in finding a spot close by. Thank the lord for the invention of the Zip Car now.

I tell you all this to give you a flava of the dog eat dog nature of things here. I swear, I will die early from the stress of living here but I'd probably be bored anyplace else. Cue to my parking nightmare this week. Let me tell you that I have MAJOR driving in the city phobia here. I have driven for well over 20 years but I am terrified of driving in the city. I'll drive anywhere else but here. Actually, I failed the part on my drivers test back in eighteen dickity three where I was asked to parallel park. I simply cannot do it. I freeze up, I get really anxious and then I start to cry. I once drove around the block for an hour till my boyfriend came home from work and he could park the car. Yes, I am a parking loser. Where I was raised, you just drive right into a spot. No one ever parallel parks, it simply isn't done because there is no need to do it. When it comes to driving in NYC, I get all sorts of crazy scenarios that go through my head. I'm afraid that some nutbag (and there are plenty here) will shoot at me or get out of their car and beat me up if I even move the wrong way. This brings me to the situation I am going to tell you about.

There I was sitting in the car this week as my co-worker Miguel said "I'll be right back, I want to get a sandwich". He ran into the deli, I waited in the passenger seat. It was pouring rain. I was literally stuffing my piehole with a huge piece of cake that a patient of mine baked and gave to me. It was such a blissful moment that only a woman and her cake could understand. Then, all of a sudden this total BITCH traffic cop pulls up in her car and yells at me to move the car. I looked up and felt a sinking feeling. I saw Miguel only a few feet away waiting to pay for his sandwich. I tried to stall and that monster woman kept making hand gestures at me to move the car. She must have been low on her quota this week. There were no other cars around, we weren't blocking anything, she was just being a jerk. There was absolutely no parking anywhere. People, it was at that moment, with fear and dread in my heart, that I knew what I had to do.

Once again, I cannot express to you how completely terrified I am of driving here ,but my fear of her ticketing my beloved Miguel was greater, so I got my petrified self out of the car as quickly as I could move and I jumped behind the wheel of the car as she was pulling out her ticket book...and I took off. I can't say that I took off like a bat out of hell, it was more like a Fuss in a panic, this will be my new expression to indicate an intense reaction to something. I think this one may catch on with the kids and end up on UrbanDictionary.com . So, there I was, cake half in my mouth and half out, my feet didn't even reach the gas or brakes so I sat on the very edge of the seat and dangled my feet in hopes that they would make it. Poor Miguel helplessly witnessed this scenario with a look of utter horror on his face from inside the Deli, but there was nothing he could do. It must have been like Sophie's Choice for him. "Do I get my sandwich which I am really starving for, or do I risk getting a ticket and the Fuss having a heart attack at the wheel of my precious car?" The windows were fogging up due to the rain, oh and my cell phone rang and being a total dumbass I answered it. Not talking on a phone when driving is a law here . If I was stopped I would have been arrested /ticketed for like 4 things. So what did I do? I sped up to get rid of that dreadful traffic officer and I went around a truck and swung around the block twice to go back and pick up Miguel. He was hysterically laughing at my panicked state. He even high fived me when I jumped out and he jumped in behind the wheel. I was crying and saying OMGOMGOMG constantly and there was cake everywhere. Everywhere! It must have flown out of my mouth as I screamed in fear or something. The windows were almost completely fogged up and I had no idea where the defogger was and I was too hurried to look for it. People it was awful. true story.

The moral of the story? If you are in NYC or it's boroughs and you are driving a car you'd damned well better have a strong stomach and know how to parallel park. You'd also better have eyes everywhere and be able to read the signs that are on every corner stating when you can park there, when you can't and how much it's gonna cost you if you mess up. Oh and don't ever leave me innocently sitting in your car while you run into a deli for "just a minute". I don't think I have the constitution to deal with that dramarama and excitement ever again.

That's all for now :)